The middle of life is the time to remove the mask and become yourself

The image of itself begins to form from childhood. Parents say something about us, friends see us some. All these grades and judgments lay the layer by layer compressed in the mask. But what if these estimates were negative, and the image formed by relatives does not suit us at all? What if in the middle of life we no longer want to wear a mask? How to make a jerk and become yourself?

– You often mention Andrei. What annoys you in it?

– He is his own decree, the opinion of others does not bother him.

– If so, then what is

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he?

– unpredictable. Too free!

It seems that my interlocutor is surprised by the answer. Ivan is a good specialist, an outstanding person, but after 36 years he was in a state of void and anxiety. His greatest fear was a public shame.

– You are afraid of this? I asked. – But imagine that fear disappears. What will come to his place? What do you feel?

– I will feel respect, approval.

– This is not quite your feeling, rather what you get from others. Approval for you is really important. But what does it give you?

– And what is the value of confidence and tranquility for you?

– When I am sure and calm, I seem to be filled with lightness, life, as if I feel.

– What word you call this sensation?

– So why is freedom in Andrey annoying you?

A prolonged pause made the silence even quieter, his eyes fell.

– Because I don’t know how so. My whole life as one big role that I play. As far as I remember, I do what I do not want.

Ivan opens to me, and I will recognize myself in it. Therefore, I understand him well. There was a time when I tried to seem educated. It happened that the book unknown to me will come in: “You know?” “I know!”-I will lie for some reason. And then I was looking for this book. He did not become an intellectual. But so has grown over with this idea of himself that he almost lost his original, simple and spontaneous.

Middle -aged crisis is most often our attempt to free ourselves from a social mask. The social mask is the external part of the personality, and it is not necessarily false. This is a presentation of oneself to the world. How we look or want to look in the eyes of others. But it happens, the mask grows up, and we live in accordance with our idea of what should be.

When the child is suggested that he needs to be the first in everything, he tries, but it turns out. When his actions are evaluated for him, having matured, he is looking not for satisfaction, but external assessments. As if we were trying to take a visit, almost forgetting that our own house is empty somewhere.